In the vein of the last post of how cooking is like writing, I decided to flip that around. Writing is like cooking.

Sometimes things just don’t come out on paper as you expect or as you intended. I am eyeball deep in the editing process, final pass, for Burnt Mountain Rhyllia. This final piece involves painstakingly copying and pasting each chapter (I could work in a larger volume, but I prefer chapter by chapter) into some lovely online editing software called Autocrit.

It’s a great tool to find out where you repeat yourself, use cliches, word redundancies, get crazy with adverbs, etc. It even throws you a little bone of encouragement with things like “Excellent!” and “Great job!” when it finds that you DIDN’T get crazy with adverbs. Autocrit is a great tool, but I do not like this part of editing. It’s painful. Boring. Did I mention painful?

Cooking can be painful too, especially when you nick your finger on the razor blade that is part of the new food processor you don’t know how to use yet. The Purple Carrot recipe I tried making today was called Something something something with Pear Chutney. In short, the pear chutney was excellent (I deliberately left out the shallot the recipe called for…anything remotely related to an onion is omitted from all cooking!). Pear, lemon juice, and pistachios. Most excellent! I almost cut off the tip off my finger only once while chopping the pear.

The something something something was a curry, I’m guessing, based on the lentils, spices I can’t remember the names of, and these things called curry leaves. See? Let me cook a little and I can turn into a genius with this stuff!! I will assume that I made some mistakes with preparation because I’m still eating many many Tums hours later after ingesting said curry.

As far as I know there isn’t a Tums equivalent for writing that isn’t going well. I guess I will just stick to Autocrit to help better digest written words that aren’t playing well together. As for the curry, Tums are my best friend today.